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How Asking About Satisfaction Can Guide Your Treatment Plan

Very often therapists ask me how much to focus on the sex issues in therapy, and how much to focus on the relational issues. This is a very important question, because of course the sexual and relational aspects of sex issues are intertwined. Therapists who don’t feel comfortable discussing sex in therapy will focus on […]

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What To Do When You Don’t Have An Orgasm With Your Partner

What should you do if you don’t have an orgasm in partner sex? There’s an obvious answer: give yourself an orgasm. But, as always with sex, the meaning we make about orgasms makes this simple solution much more complicated. All sorts of mischief can happen when we start to construct narratives about why we or […]

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Shifting An Unhelpful Dynamic in Desire Discrepancy

Is there such a thing as desire that's too high or low?

Many of the couples I work with are struggling with issues related to desire discrepancy. All too often, I discover that the higher-desire partner is expressing their distress in the most counterproductive manner possible. It can be extremely distressing to be in a monogamous relationship with a much lower desire partner and a lifelong commitment. […]

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