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Making Relationship Agreements That Support Growth

I’m a big fan of the trend towards couples writing their own marriage vows. When a couple writes their own vows, they are opening up an opportunity for a series of differentiated conversations about what kind of relationship they want to build. Here are some examples of what differentiated marital agreements look like: “I commit […]

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Helping Your Clients Find the Courage to Make a Vulnerable Disclosure

Have you seen this scenario play out in your therapy room? One partner gathers their courage and shares something vulnerable, or reveals a secret, or a private desire. And then their partner feels hurt and freaks right out with a big emotional response. The hurt partner’s feelings are usually perfectly understandable. But, at the same […]

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Unscripting Sex For More Connection and Pleasure

You may have heard me use the term “scripted sex” or “linear model of sex” before. By “scripted” or “linear” I mean a concept of sex that follows a widely-accepted progression: first base, second base, third base, home. You could add more bases, but, according to the model of scripted sex, if you are having […]

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