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Rediscovering Sex in a Mixed-Desire Partnership

In last week’s post, I wrote about the common advice that partners experiencing a desire discrepancy “just do it,” and the way that can backfire. I argued that willingness (not desire) is the key ingredient for partners seeking to rediscover their sexual connection. However, I also acknowledged that many couples feeling awkward and uncertain when […]

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Should You “Just Do It” To Fix A Desire Discrepancy?

A couple lying face to face

The conventional wisdom about desire discrepancy in a relationship is “just do it.” I’ve had many clients whose previous therapists have recommended some version of this approach, ranging from “ice-breaker sex” to “it’s like doing the laundry; sometimes you just have to get it done”. I get that when a couple hasn’t had sex in […]

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3 Ways to Connect With Your Sexual Self

Last week, I wrote about why I believe it’s essential to cultivate a good relationship with the erotic side of yourself. I talked about how it can improve not just your own health and happiness, but your relationships. I also shared a series of questions that you can ask yourself if you want to release […]

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