If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I think discussing sex in therapy is crucial. Sex issues have emotional ramifications, and I hope I’ve convinced you that the ability to communicate openly and honestly about sexual desires, preferences, and boundaries is an important relationship skill, and that therapists have a role to play in helping clients develop that skill.
In addition to working with the emotional aspects of sex issues, I also very often spend time in the therapy room educating my clients on topics like sexual health and anatomy. Sex is a stigmatized subject, and many people don’t have access to trusted, reliable, and accurate information on sexuality. Many people have had only abstinence-focused sex-ed in school, or no sex-ed at all. Many people have gotten most of their information about sex from porn and peers.
Lack of access to information about sexuality can end up having all kinds of negative effects on mental health and relationships. For instance, many people feel embarrassed by the appearance of their sexual anatomy. This is the result of a lack of accurate and non-judgemental information about sex, and it can do a lot of harm to self-esteem. Sharing accurate information about anatomy can do a world of good. Even something as simple as asserting that everyone’s body is different, and wide variation is completely normal, can make a huge different in people’s lives.
There are also cases of sexual problems that can be resolved with just a little bit of anatomical info. For instance, many people don’t realize that it takes a person with a clitoris an average of twenty-five minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Lots of people think there’s something wrong with them or their partner if they can’t orgasm just from penetration, or if they can’t orgasm in just a few minutes. In a situation like that, you can provide a lot of relief by supplying a few facts about orgasm and anatomy.
I believe in the importance of providing accurate, non-judgemental information about topics your clients struggle with. I’m always surprised at how many people express astonishment and relief when I provide simple psychoeducation about anatomy, and debunk a myth or two. As I see it, alleviating distress in this way falls well within the bounds of a therapist’s role.
Does this leave you wondering where you can get accurate information about anatomy, and learn how to share it with your clients skillfully? You might want to consider joining my 2019 course, Assessing and Treating Sex Issues in Psychotherapy. Sign up for the waiting list now, and you’ll be the first to know when sign-ups open this February!