Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients)

Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients)

Martha Kauppi


Your favorite long-term client tells you they want to open up their relationship. Are you ready to help them?

This groundbreaking guide to consensual non-monogamy offers a reading experience that feels like consulting with a trusted advisor. Martha Kauppi equips you with the skills to be a true ally to clients who want to explore polyamory. Learn from the expert who trains experts as she debunks myths and shares the exact tools she uses with her own clients.

Flip to any chapter for an understanding of what is possible, where and why things break down, and how to help. You’ll learn how to conceptualize complicated relational dynamics in a way that leads to effective treatment, and how to identify and disrupt maladaptive relational patterns without perpetuating negative cultural bias. A must-read for anyone looking for a framework to simplify the complexities of polyamory.


Beyond excellent! It is a rare book that so boldly advances the field. Martha provides thoughtful support for marginalized individuals while challenging unconscious biases and providing exceptional therapeutic tools for growth. Don’t miss reading this one.
— Ellyn Bader, co-founder, The Couples Institute, author of In Quest of the Mythical Mate and Tell Me No Lies


Martha Kauppi has written the book for all therapists working with open relationships and polyamory. It is chock full of ideas for being poly or managing fluid relationship agreements, including how to have tough conversations and how to self-soothe. This author is masterful at helping people create change. These are skills that have been missing in the literature, until now. I can’t recommend this book enough.
— Dr. Tammy Nelson, author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Relationships After Infidelity and Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together


Polyamory is a book that should be on every sex and relationship therapist’s shelf. It is an indispensable and comprehensive guide to not only understanding polyamorous relationships, but also providing affirmative therapy for clients with diverse relationship structures. Casual readers looking to enhance their relationship skill set can also benefit from the book’s straightforward approach and practical exercises.
— Justin J. Lehmiller, research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life


Martha Kauppi has written a book on much more than polyamory. To be poly-informed, she skillfully teaches how one needs to understand other populations such as LGBTQIA, kink and fetish communities, and other erotic orientations. Her work is based on current research and recognizes clinicians’ need to be versed in understanding relationships focusing on differentiation. It is exhaustive and includes the nuances, complexities, and diversities that exist within the poly community. This book is destined to become a classic.— Joe Kort, author of Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?, LGBT Clients in Therapy, and Erotic Orientation


In the tremendous new book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), Martha Kauppi examines the clinical side of serving polyamorous clients in a mental healthcare setting. Using data from her own and others’ research, Kauppi provides a solid grounding in theory, explains the intersections between consensual nonmonogamy and kink/BDSM and LGBTQ+ populations, and takes on therapeutic bias and ways for therapists to look beyond CNM to other issues in the relationship. Kauppi offers clinicians tools to approach clients’ common issues such as forming agreements, managing jealousy, cheating, healing from past relationship trauma, and a mismatch in desire for CNM. Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients) concludes with ethical and professional considerations, and a wealth of useful worksheets and handouts. The most comprehensive toolkit for therapists serving clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships to date, Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients) is required reading for culturally competent CNM mental health care provision.

— Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule,When Someone You Love is Polyamorous and Children in Polyamorous Families



Click here for table of contents.

You can order my book here:

Rowman and Littlefield

A Room of One’s Own


If you’re outside the states, here are the international links:

UK Bookshop, Waterstones, Blackwells

If you’re going to listen to just one podcast about polyamory, this is the episode! Justin is just so smart and engaging, added so much to the conversation, and was a pure pleasure to talk with. There’s a reason his podcast is quickly rocketing to the top of the list of sex-related podcasts! He’s the best, and I’m honored to have been his guest.

In this episode, Martha Kauppi, LMFT, talks to us about her new book, Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), looking at consensual non-monogamy, examining common myths around polyamory, and the relationship and sexual dynamics of polyamory.

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