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All Levels of Desire Are Normal

Couple fighting

When therapists work with desire discrepancy, they sometimes fall into a counterproductive trap–identifying one partner as “high” or “low” desire, and trying to “fix” that partner’s desire level. “High desire” and “low desire” are comparative terms. What standard are you comparing against? Is there such a thing as “normal desire” or “abnormal desire”? I say […]

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When Consent Isn’t Simple

Consent is about more than "yes" and "no."

A few years ago, a 3-minute video called Consent: It’s as Simple as Cup of Tea blew up online. You may have seen it. I like the video; it’s fun and engaging, and the message is important. Better yet, it got the whole world talking about consent. But my years of experience as a sex […]

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3 Reasons Therapy Clients Need to Discuss Sex, Not Just Connection

Q: I was taught, and have frequently heard, the truism that if you clear up a couple’s emotional connection in therapy, their sexual connection will heal all by itself. In light of all that I have been learning in your course, I am beginning to think this might be wrong. What do you think? A: […]

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