Blog

7 Tips for Getting Creative: A Sex Therapist’s Guide to Trying New Things

Young couple kissing under the covers

Learn about how you get turned on–and off. All too often we think about arousal as if it’s an off-on switch–you’re either turned on or you’re not. In reality, research shows that it’s more like an accelerator and a brake. Doing things that turn you on is like pushing the accelerator. No matter how hard […]

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All Levels of Desire Are Normal

Couple fighting

When therapists work with desire discrepancy, they sometimes fall into a counterproductive trap–identifying one partner as “high” or “low” desire, and trying to “fix” that partner’s desire level. “High desire” and “low desire” are comparative terms. What standard are you comparing against? Is there such a thing as “normal desire” or “abnormal desire”? I say […]

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When Consent Isn’t Simple

Consent is about more than "yes" and "no."

A few years ago, a 3-minute video called Consent: It’s as Simple as Cup of Tea blew up online. You may have seen it. I like the video; it’s fun and engaging, and the message is important. Better yet, it got the whole world talking about consent. But my years of experience as a sex […]

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